For most parents worldwide, we've found ourselves in uncharted territory as we attempt to homeschool our kids in the middle of a pandemic. While no one's situation is the same, we all have a few things in common: we're doing the best we can during these unpredictable times and adapting along the way.
I won't be the first to admit there have been days where getting through the day without breaking down has been considered my biggest success. I quickly have to remind myself there's a reason for all of this and that homeschooling has been a necessary part of keeping my family safe and healthy.
I've also realized that for my kids to be healthy, I've had to extend myself some grace to make the right decisions for my family. That's why I thought it would be helpful to share some useful tips that I've found helpful to keep my mental health in check, as many of us continue to grapple with finding a "new normal" during this pandemic.
1) Find your team and reconnect. Women are social creatures by nature, so being quarantined and isolated for the majority of 2020 hasn't been easy for us. Try to find ways to connect with friends and family even if you can't be near them. We've all spent so much time on Zoom calls and Facetime this year. Instead of texting or FaceTime, pick up the phone and say "hi" without the additional screen time and technology. A simple phone call may re-establish some sense of normalcy with your loved ones and bring you back to simpler times. All you have to do is pick up the phone and start talking. You'll be surprised what comes of it.
2) Take time for yourself. It sounds cliché, but the truth is, you must take time for yourself to have the energy and patience to give your children what they need. I decided a few months ago that I would wake up an hour before the rest of the house to have time to myself before the chaos of the day began. I like to sip on my coffee in peace before starting my day. Then I may check some emails or organize things before everyone is awake. Do what you feel like you need to do for yourself before your attention is needed by the precious humans you care for.
3) Switch up your routine. I have a second grader (Will) and a toddler (Amelia) at home. When I realized the school would be 100% distance learning for my son this year, I knew the first thing I needed to do was find a dedicated, quiet space for him to spend the majority of his time. I purchased a small desk for him to put in his room, where we try to keep his school supplies at arm's length so he can grab what he needs when he needs it. Staying organized has been key to my1) sanity. During periods when he doesn't have to be in front of the computer, I might take him to the park, out to lunch, or let him run around the neighborhood. We add in our spin to the daily routine – and this is for everyone's health, not just mine.
4) It’s ok to say no. This year has been a roller coaster for millions when it comes to employment. I'm a small business owner, and the beginning of the year was looking pretty bright with several steady clients. Then, for the very first time in my life, I found myself filing for unemployment. After about a month, I was lucky enough to start working again. I attempted to keep working after school started, but I found my patience being worn thin and realized I had to start saying no to some of my clients. Just know that employers, school teachers … everyone understand the current situation and are more than willing to extend grace if needed.
5) Enlist help. Growing up, I watched my stay-at-home mom spend most of her days scrubbing floors, doing dishes, cooking, and picking up after her kids nonstop. She raised my siblings and me to take responsibility for our things. So, the idea of a maid was never something I considered until a few years ago when I realized just how taxing it could be – day after day, year after year. This year I decided to give up on housekeeping and hired a maid to come every few weeks, for my own sanity's sake. I still have to keep things maintained. I'm even picking up toys daily, and the laundry is still there. But eliminating some of the work has given me some much-needed time back to do all the other things I need to do – like homeschool my son, cook for my family, and stay on top of things at home. Whether it's a meal service like Door Dash, a maid, or assistance from one of your local non-profits, we are lucky to live in a country where help is always there when you need it. Enlist it when you feel like the situation has become too much to manage on your own.
